I've noticed that when I'm not into playing a toon I've made that's a tank, I tend to play one of two classes: Hunters and Rogues. Hunters are fun, and I've never played one to completion, but they get a bit boring. I think I like the idea of having a companion in the form of a pet, but the end result is less fun than I realize (I can tell you what my real issue is: if I have a bear, I want my bear to be big as hell! I don't want my bear to be a smaller version than the bears elsewhere! It just makes me cranky. Sue me.) And most of the times I end up playing/making a rogue. I think it's my inner asshole, or my need to be an inner asshole in my time of leisure, because I'm more or less a pushover in real life. Rogues are difficult to play. A rogue is basically a hunter without the pet, who can't shoot that well, and who won't get to wear good armor ever; It's a gimped hunter. Sure, they get to sneak around, poison people and pick locks. So you have a character with potential to perform epic and heroic feats, but at the cost of moral high ground; an anti-hero, if you will. And I'm all about anti-heroes.
Rogues are not superheroes- Rogues possess no superpowers. They do not cast magic. They do not possess an uncanny ability to not die. They cannot turn into animals. They cannot control beasts. They can turn semi-invisible. That's about it. And you still have to make sure to not walk in front of anyone. They also have the ability to fall from real high up and not die (may not sound by much, but I used to wish for this ability in college, when I had to take physics on a 4th floor) So, to recap- ability to be inocuous (because theyre not fully invisible) and the ability to be a cat.
Rogues look out for the important guy- Even if you look up the information on this class on a wowwiki, it will say that rogues excell at escaping. This means that rogues are basically Sir Robin, who nearly beat the Chicken of Bristol. Some classes fight, some defend, some heal and some turn you into sheep. Rogues bravely run away. The fact that this class is custom made to watch out for #1 is my kind of deal- self preservation ftw. Reminds me of Hoggle.
Rogues cheat- an encounter on a rogue normally goes as is- sneak up, sap (stun with a bonk to the head), pick pocket, laugh at the 3 copper you just stole, then stab in the back. It's pretty horrible and reprehensible.What's worse is, if you manage to escape, you have a few things to worry about: 1. The gun on your back (or arrow, or throwing dart. Rogues are evil) 2. One of the various poisons the rogue might have infected you with. It's like getting scraped with a rusty needle after you get mugged. Yes, if you know, you know I have a sick sense of humor. And this is my bag.
And despite all of this, rogues retain a certain romantic flair to them. They are the spies, the assassins, the brigands of this MMO.And they certainly appeal to my machiavelic side. A lot.
Post 4.0.1 Patch Scriptum- Apparently CC has become a necessity, and I have seen a resurgence in rogues around. They are not as rare as before. This is interesting.
Addendum- I re-rolled my rogue into a dwarf rogue. I think we have a winner. And this time, I specced subtlety, again. I always specc subtlety. Combat is for out and out fights. A hardier, swashbucling rogue who has a penchant for an open fight and setting up combos with harder hitting weapons. Assassination is more for those who like using daggers and inflicting poison damage. I had tried both at one point, and got used to combat. I never liked the feel of assassination.... it felt...lacking. That's unfair. The style just didn't click with me. Subtlety is all about sneaking about and striking from the shadows. Combat relies on a continuous stream of damage, assassination depends on spurt damage, subtlety relies on, and I like this philosophy- opening damage. If your overture is strong enough, forward momentum will carry you. They say the spec also relies on finishers, but, as I said, if you can kill your foe in one blow.... who needs a follow up?
So I started my little dwarf rogue...now, whenever you get to level 10 with any class and anys spec, you are awarded an ability characteristic of that spec. Combat gets blade flurry, which given, is fun. And useful. I forget what assassination gets. Subtlety gets a reworked shadow step. I say reworked because I dont remember it working this way before... basically, it's a ' move behind your opponent instantaneously' ability that can be used every 25 seconds. >D. This also makes your ambush hit harder.
On an RP note... Sicari is a scary mofo. Right up my alley.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Casual vs Hardcore
There's an argument in video gaming in general between casual gamers and hardcore gamers. Generally speaking, a casual gamer has a life, and plays ocasionally. A hardcore gamer will play avidly, and forego other activities (such as social interactions) to play games. Added to this argument is the argument of which KIND of game casual and hardcore gamers play. Some argue that someone that plays concievably 'casual' games (Such as Tetris, Mario, or puzzle games: games normally thought of as 'for kids')in an almost obsessive compulsive fashion is a hardcore gamer. Others feel that hardcore gamers only play 'hardcore games', such as Gears of War, or Grand Theft Auto, or Call of Duty (violent games, normally)
In the MMO world, the definition takes a different spin. Why? Because you're all playing the same MMO, so there is no argument about what game makes you hardcore or casual (although there is something to be said about the feud between, say, Lord of the Rings Online and World of Warcraft)The argument is normally focused on A. how much you play B. Gearscore (Gearscore is basically a score on your equipment. The higher the score, the better your armor is. )C. What you have accomplished in the game D. What you do when you play. It could be said that some of these arguments are better measures of hardcore/casual gaming than others, and some not so much.
1. Play time- Well, it could be said that people that play the game casually play for small increments of time, and hardcore players play for long periods of time. This could be construed as a phallacy, and I'll explain why in the last point. (Sorry, I organized my list a bit sloppilly and now I'm too lazy to organize it so it's coherent. Bear with me)
2. Gearscore- Some people argue gearscore, or GS has ruined this game. Basically, people will gear up insanely fast with the new additions to the game and have ridiculous gearscores with little to no effort, then they expect it to be representative of their skill as a gamer. It's as if wearing Nike's made me great at basketball (in the 90s, it did) Some people go so far as to use items that will improve their score, but that aren't really useful to them (like a chromed grill on a rusty Beetle...it LOOKS pretty garish, and it doesn't do that much good)
3.Accomplishments- I would say this is actually a fairer measure of how hardcore or casual you are. If you can prove that you've killed some fire breathing dragon (normally an achievement or a title. Titles are cool, and hard/difficult to get; titles such as "Champion of the Frozen Wastes") then it means you probably did kill it, right? It's not as if the dragon laid down and said, "Um, so you'll be choppin' my head off now? " Except not necessarily. In today's real world, we know that some people go through life with special titles such as Doctor, or Honorable, or Lt. or something. And these titles are hard to get! ....99%. We all know that sometimes, some people luck out and get a free ride. And sometimes, in the game, all you have to do is be CLOSE to someone successful (or in their party) to get a title or an accomplishment. So there will always be, even in MMOs, moochers. Still, it's a better way of figuring who plays hardcore and who plays casually.
4. Activities- Going back to my point 1. An MMO can be a wondrous thing. You can spend your time questing. And you can spend your time raiding, or doing instances. And SOME people spend their time playing the auction house like it was the Stock Market. And some people dedicate their hours upon hours on the various trade and general chats WHILE they play the game. Or they collect pets or special mounts. Or, nowdays, they spend their time on old raids. Some other people dedicate days upon days on the current, harder content. And yet, some people have been able to see the same content while not playing that often.
I consider myself a casual gamer. I am not barreling towards the harder content, I do not have many accomplishments to show for and my GS is crap. And yet, as of late, I have been playing quite a bit (I've been increasing my 'reputation' with the dwarves) Am I hardcore because I've been obsessing about a minute detail of a game, sacrificing other activities over this?
I dunno. I always thougth I was just a completist, a consequence of a compulsive personality.
=/
In the MMO world, the definition takes a different spin. Why? Because you're all playing the same MMO, so there is no argument about what game makes you hardcore or casual (although there is something to be said about the feud between, say, Lord of the Rings Online and World of Warcraft)The argument is normally focused on A. how much you play B. Gearscore (Gearscore is basically a score on your equipment. The higher the score, the better your armor is. )C. What you have accomplished in the game D. What you do when you play. It could be said that some of these arguments are better measures of hardcore/casual gaming than others, and some not so much.
1. Play time- Well, it could be said that people that play the game casually play for small increments of time, and hardcore players play for long periods of time. This could be construed as a phallacy, and I'll explain why in the last point. (Sorry, I organized my list a bit sloppilly and now I'm too lazy to organize it so it's coherent. Bear with me)
2. Gearscore- Some people argue gearscore, or GS has ruined this game. Basically, people will gear up insanely fast with the new additions to the game and have ridiculous gearscores with little to no effort, then they expect it to be representative of their skill as a gamer. It's as if wearing Nike's made me great at basketball (in the 90s, it did) Some people go so far as to use items that will improve their score, but that aren't really useful to them (like a chromed grill on a rusty Beetle...it LOOKS pretty garish, and it doesn't do that much good)
3.Accomplishments- I would say this is actually a fairer measure of how hardcore or casual you are. If you can prove that you've killed some fire breathing dragon (normally an achievement or a title. Titles are cool, and hard/difficult to get; titles such as "Champion of the Frozen Wastes") then it means you probably did kill it, right? It's not as if the dragon laid down and said, "Um, so you'll be choppin' my head off now? " Except not necessarily. In today's real world, we know that some people go through life with special titles such as Doctor, or Honorable, or Lt. or something. And these titles are hard to get! ....99%. We all know that sometimes, some people luck out and get a free ride. And sometimes, in the game, all you have to do is be CLOSE to someone successful (or in their party) to get a title or an accomplishment. So there will always be, even in MMOs, moochers. Still, it's a better way of figuring who plays hardcore and who plays casually.
4. Activities- Going back to my point 1. An MMO can be a wondrous thing. You can spend your time questing. And you can spend your time raiding, or doing instances. And SOME people spend their time playing the auction house like it was the Stock Market. And some people dedicate their hours upon hours on the various trade and general chats WHILE they play the game. Or they collect pets or special mounts. Or, nowdays, they spend their time on old raids. Some other people dedicate days upon days on the current, harder content. And yet, some people have been able to see the same content while not playing that often.
I consider myself a casual gamer. I am not barreling towards the harder content, I do not have many accomplishments to show for and my GS is crap. And yet, as of late, I have been playing quite a bit (I've been increasing my 'reputation' with the dwarves) Am I hardcore because I've been obsessing about a minute detail of a game, sacrificing other activities over this?
I dunno. I always thougth I was just a completist, a consequence of a compulsive personality.
=/
Monday, July 19, 2010
Professions: They suck less in MMOs
As I had stated previously, in World of Warcraft, you have professions. There are secondary professions, gathering professions and crafting professions. Secondary professions, and I might be referring to them incorrectly, are basically professions anybody can choose to pursue aside from the other two professions they choose to follow. These are first aid, cooking and fishing. First aid allows you to make bandages. It's a nifty time suck. Fishing is as well. The caveat to fishing is eventually you have to go fish in some real exotic locations (like off an iceberg, surrounded by viking corpses) to get some interesting fish. Cooking requires you basically take care to kill every single living thing you come across and keep their innards in the off chance you get a nice recipe for it later on (bear guts apparently do not have an expiration date...)
Then there are main professions. You're only allowed two at a time. And it makes sense to only pick two, because they require as much time as an actual part time job! This weekend I dedicated more time to my professions than my girlfriend. I'm one lucky sumbitch. She was rooting me on!
Anyway, some professions are for crafting things. Making things basically. There's:
1. Alchemy- this allows you to make potions from herbs and stuff. Basically you're a drug dealer. =D
2. Blacksmithing- allows you to make mail and plate armor from metals. This is what I chose, because I'm stingy. It's apparently the hardest one to level, or so I hear/read. It's quite fun, and excruciating, much like, I imagine, having smelted copper fall on you.
3. Leatherworking- allows you to make leather armor and bags, as well as capes. It's actually a very fun profession when paired with skinning. More on that later. Basically you can make yourself ridiculous looking armor.
4. Tailoring- allows you to make cloth armor, bags and capes. It also allows you to make a flying carpet. A fucking flying carpet. I hate tailors. A lot.
5. Engineers- Engineers are weird. They make thingamajigs. Like bombs. And guns. And robots. They also make a motorcycle and a helicopter. They also dont make as much money as other professions, but god damn, bombs and a motorbike. Engineering is quite fun, to be honest. It's kind of like the terrorists' choice =D
6. Jewelcrafting- JCers make rings, jewelry, and cut gems. It's an incredibly fastidious trade, and I like to imagine that my Death Knight who has JC is gonna die from breathing in diamond dust some day. Except he's already dead so it's all good. Apparently it will make me rich some day. I can't wait.
7. Inscription- basically, you take herbs, and you mash em up, and make ink. Then you make scrolls. It sounds....bookish and nerdy. And it is. It's not that hard to level, it's, I dunno...see, I went from making drugs to writing on a piece of paper on this list. It's a bit of a downer.
Then there are gathering professions. Gathering professions aren't AS BAD, but to be honest, sometimes it's a pain having to compete with every other a-hole in the game.
1. Herbalism- you gather herbs. A flower picker profession. Nice eh? It's hard to feel epic when you're out gathering herbs. Like ...Grandma the Barbarian, tending to the Rose Bushes!!!! AND NOW A SHRUBBERY!!!!
2. Mining- you basically look out for rocks. Not crack cocaine. In mines. Nodes. Its a bit harsh, how much mining you have to do to level engineering, blacksmithing and jewelcrafting. Oh well. Thankfully there's no black lung in MMOs.
3. Skinning- the greatest profession to level ever. See, in WoW, you're always killing stuff. And stuff leaves corpses. And 7/10 times, it's a corpse you can skin! See, you're always knee deep in corpses, which means....more leather for you! Woooo! Seriously, easiest profession ever.
4. Enchanting- not exactly a gathering profession...you take items that are at least somewhat good, or green items, and you break them down for magical essences. You need a metric FUCKTON of items (armor, weapons, jewelry) to level this profession. It's like going to a thriftstore and breaking up every single second-hand sweater for the thread. Then you USE this thread to make better things. Actually, you use the magical essences to improve other items. If it wasn't such a drudgery, which it is, I'd consider this one as a profession. It pays off in the end though.
Aside from all this, rogues have an interesting skill which you could count as a profession. They basically have lockpicking. In some parts of the world you can find lockboxes strewn about, so you're encouraged to enact various counts of theft in order to be able to open proper chests in your quests. I wonder if I could go around embezzling in order to attain experience... hey, I'm only leveling up my 'sleight of hand' for future endeavors! I could need it to steal from the rich (and keep for myself...) I had been debating making a rogue on our new server to open boxes, but then I saw it was viable as a blacksmith to make keys. And it feels slightly less like crime.
Blizzard is supposedly adding archeology to the list of secondary professions. I don't know if I rightly care. It took me a good weekend to level up my professions so they are of some use to me, so much so, that on Saturday night I went to bed planning how to level up even faster the following Sunday.
If only I was as industrious at real life as I am here...
Then there are main professions. You're only allowed two at a time. And it makes sense to only pick two, because they require as much time as an actual part time job! This weekend I dedicated more time to my professions than my girlfriend. I'm one lucky sumbitch. She was rooting me on!
Anyway, some professions are for crafting things. Making things basically. There's:
1. Alchemy- this allows you to make potions from herbs and stuff. Basically you're a drug dealer. =D
2. Blacksmithing- allows you to make mail and plate armor from metals. This is what I chose, because I'm stingy. It's apparently the hardest one to level, or so I hear/read. It's quite fun, and excruciating, much like, I imagine, having smelted copper fall on you.
3. Leatherworking- allows you to make leather armor and bags, as well as capes. It's actually a very fun profession when paired with skinning. More on that later. Basically you can make yourself ridiculous looking armor.
4. Tailoring- allows you to make cloth armor, bags and capes. It also allows you to make a flying carpet. A fucking flying carpet. I hate tailors. A lot.
5. Engineers- Engineers are weird. They make thingamajigs. Like bombs. And guns. And robots. They also make a motorcycle and a helicopter. They also dont make as much money as other professions, but god damn, bombs and a motorbike. Engineering is quite fun, to be honest. It's kind of like the terrorists' choice =D
6. Jewelcrafting- JCers make rings, jewelry, and cut gems. It's an incredibly fastidious trade, and I like to imagine that my Death Knight who has JC is gonna die from breathing in diamond dust some day. Except he's already dead so it's all good. Apparently it will make me rich some day. I can't wait.
7. Inscription- basically, you take herbs, and you mash em up, and make ink. Then you make scrolls. It sounds....bookish and nerdy. And it is. It's not that hard to level, it's, I dunno...see, I went from making drugs to writing on a piece of paper on this list. It's a bit of a downer.
Then there are gathering professions. Gathering professions aren't AS BAD, but to be honest, sometimes it's a pain having to compete with every other a-hole in the game.
1. Herbalism- you gather herbs. A flower picker profession. Nice eh? It's hard to feel epic when you're out gathering herbs. Like ...Grandma the Barbarian, tending to the Rose Bushes!!!! AND NOW A SHRUBBERY!!!!
2. Mining- you basically look out for rocks. Not crack cocaine. In mines. Nodes. Its a bit harsh, how much mining you have to do to level engineering, blacksmithing and jewelcrafting. Oh well. Thankfully there's no black lung in MMOs.
3. Skinning- the greatest profession to level ever. See, in WoW, you're always killing stuff. And stuff leaves corpses. And 7/10 times, it's a corpse you can skin! See, you're always knee deep in corpses, which means....more leather for you! Woooo! Seriously, easiest profession ever.
4. Enchanting- not exactly a gathering profession...you take items that are at least somewhat good, or green items, and you break them down for magical essences. You need a metric FUCKTON of items (armor, weapons, jewelry) to level this profession. It's like going to a thriftstore and breaking up every single second-hand sweater for the thread. Then you USE this thread to make better things. Actually, you use the magical essences to improve other items. If it wasn't such a drudgery, which it is, I'd consider this one as a profession. It pays off in the end though.
Aside from all this, rogues have an interesting skill which you could count as a profession. They basically have lockpicking. In some parts of the world you can find lockboxes strewn about, so you're encouraged to enact various counts of theft in order to be able to open proper chests in your quests. I wonder if I could go around embezzling in order to attain experience... hey, I'm only leveling up my 'sleight of hand' for future endeavors! I could need it to steal from the rich (and keep for myself...) I had been debating making a rogue on our new server to open boxes, but then I saw it was viable as a blacksmith to make keys. And it feels slightly less like crime.
Blizzard is supposedly adding archeology to the list of secondary professions. I don't know if I rightly care. It took me a good weekend to level up my professions so they are of some use to me, so much so, that on Saturday night I went to bed planning how to level up even faster the following Sunday.
If only I was as industrious at real life as I am here...
Friday, July 16, 2010
LFG: The quest for the perfect PUG
For those of you who do not play MMOs, LFG means looking for group, and PUG means pick up group. See, in MMos, there are dungeons. In World of Warcraft they are called instances and raids. Instances are closed settings for quests, with difficult bosses and good armor and items. They are normally played with a 4-5 people. Towards the end of the game, they are always done with a group of 5, again, consisting of a tank, a healer and 3 damage dealers. These instances can take some time to complete. Some of the newer ones take about 20 minutes to complete. Some of the older ones can take up to 2 hours. The reason is, even though the older dungeons are for lower level characters, Blizzard, the company itself, was still learning a bit. The game USED to be a bit more hardcore as well. People spent...way more time doing this. It's hard to believe, isn't it? But it's true. Then you have raids. Now raids are even harder dungeons. They are normally considered end-game dungeons. Meaning, this is what you do when you're at the top of the game. There were level 60 raids, then level 70 raids and now level 80 raids. Raids used to be for up to 40 people. That's a lot of people. Nowadays there aren't any 40 people raids, only 10 and 25 people raids. They call em 10 man and 25man raids. Suffice to say, these often take hours to complete. The shortest one takes about 45 minutes, and it is one single room with a few dragons in it. It is also not that difficult nowadays. Raids go out of style, as the game keeps progressing, and some of these become redundant to complete, but some people complete them to get good armor and items that will enable them to go on even HARDER raids. Or for shits and giggles. Preparing for a raid is strenous. You have to be good, you have to be well equipped, and more often than not, you need to have leveled your professions up to par in order to contribute to the group. Professions, which I will explain some other day, for my sister's benefit, hehe, entail a few skills, such as mining, and armor making, and leatherworking, and even cooking! Cooking is a much sought-after skill, because you can make tasty meals that benefit the entire group. Cooking goes hand in hand with fishing too! My dad would be thrilled! No, there's no crochetting, but there is tailoring. Anyway, raiding.... it's a long process to be ready to raid. And more often than not it's necessary to do instances, or 5mans, up the wazoo.
Blizzard implemented this nifty tool a few months ago where you'd be able to pair up in a database with other people looking for groups. Before, it meant asking on a general chat in your own server if someone wanted to do this or that. And it could mean waiting around for hours, depending on the day and trend of that day. Nowadays, it can still take an hour or so, if you're just dps. If you're a tank, or a healer, it could take much less time, and if you're a tank AND a healer queueing together, it's basically instantaneous! And this has been basically the case for my gf and I.
Now, when you pair up with random players, with players who are not your in-game friends or are your guild mates, this is called a PUG, because you're looking for other players. You call the group and the random players pugs.
An unexpected secondary effect of a game having SUCH a large and diverse user base, is that you get to meet all kinds of people. Including people who will irritate the feck out of you by: A. Being self entitled B. By being elitist jerks C. By Being thieves (we call them ninja looters- whenever something that's good drops, be it an equipment item, a weapon, a recipee, a gem, the party can 'roll' for it. This means that party members will basically roll from 1-100 on a need or greed basis. Need trumps greed. A higher number wins out. And ninja looters will wait for everyone to roll first and then roll need, when they don't really need something)D. By being douchebags overall or E. By being bad players in various ways ( Any sort of things, such as being bad on purpose, being bad and a jerk at the same time...no one is perfect, a bad player is not a bad thing, but a touch of humility and good manners go a LONG way in this game) Not to say that there aren't decent people in this game, there are, but just like in real life, there are more assholes than nice people, for whatever reason. It's as if the game mimicks real life a bit too well.
Before the LFG tool for instances, looking for a group was a bit difficult, and more often than not, you would end up with douchebags. And it would often deterr you from trying that again for a while. Nowadays...you're basically paired up with douchebags faster. It's not perfect, but at least you have a way of simply dropping that particular group and trying again. It's like speed dating basically: all the awkwardness and regret just comes at you faster, and eventually it all happens so fast, you've rubbed yourself raw and numb, and it doesn't smart as much anymore. Pretty picture, I know.
I remember one evening we had the perfect group: we ended up doing the same labyrinthine dungeon 5 times over. Everyone in the group was perfect: corteous, respectful, and by the 3rd time of doing the same dungeon, it was clockwork, to the point where we were basically a ravenous pack of pixels, or some sort of high fantasy hit squad carrying out a Troll pogrom or something. ANYWAY, it was great. I was sad to have to break for food, because, well, it was perfect. Suffice to say when we came back, we had probably the worst group we had had all evening, and my girlfriend and I ended up carrying the group (meaning, pulling all the weight). Last week we were doing an 'already in progress' 5man. This means it had already been started and the roles we were filling in had been vacated. When we came in, I saw a bunch of corpses, meaning that some or all in the party had died and come back in. I asked what happened, and the party explained in short words that they had a 'noob dk tank'(meaning, an inexperienced Death Knight Tank) to which I said 'ahh. I see' and proceeded to do my thing (my thing being killing chit, as a friend of yesteryear used to say) Or at least I attempted to do so. As soon as we started, we were bombarded by a party chat full of question marks. My gf thinks the spammers were speaking in korean and the chat was not recognizing the characters. Í don't know. And then the real fun started. We had a hunter and a boomkin (a rather large owl with antlers that casts magic, also called crit *for critical* chicken. ) The hunter decided that my going breakneck fast was not fast enough, and started to shoot things for shits and giggles. Which made my job that more strenous. Then the boomkin thought it would be ok to start pushing things away from me with gusts of wind (this ability is more for player vs player action, where distance from another player is desired. In an instance it's bad because A. The tank, meaning moi, could not hit things as I was supposed to and B. He started pushing them into other enemies, so then we all had one big american party where I had to chase everything around) We asked him to stop, and explained this was not pvp (payer vs player) and he proceeded to say it was, and called my girlfriend a slut. I was not happy. See, you should never anger the tank or healer, because you might die. It's like being carried into an ER and spitting at the doctor's face and calling him a pansy. You're not making a case for yourself. So we proceeded to leave the party and left them to die.
Now, if we could only muster the courage in life to leave douchebags hanging, everything would be simply awesome....
Example:
Me: Hey Boss, I don't like this assignment. I know I volunteered, but it's really not great. Can I please drop it?
Boss: Nope. You trained for it, you get to keep it.
Me: But, this is not what I was hired for...
Boss: Suck it up, buttercup
Real Life resolution: I get to keep my job and now I hate it even more than before
MMO resolution:
Me: ok, well, Let me...click this...Leave group...ok, hey, I'm putting you on ignore, have luck finding another schmuck! l2p nub!~
If only...
Blizzard implemented this nifty tool a few months ago where you'd be able to pair up in a database with other people looking for groups. Before, it meant asking on a general chat in your own server if someone wanted to do this or that. And it could mean waiting around for hours, depending on the day and trend of that day. Nowadays, it can still take an hour or so, if you're just dps. If you're a tank, or a healer, it could take much less time, and if you're a tank AND a healer queueing together, it's basically instantaneous! And this has been basically the case for my gf and I.
Now, when you pair up with random players, with players who are not your in-game friends or are your guild mates, this is called a PUG, because you're looking for other players. You call the group and the random players pugs.
An unexpected secondary effect of a game having SUCH a large and diverse user base, is that you get to meet all kinds of people. Including people who will irritate the feck out of you by: A. Being self entitled B. By being elitist jerks C. By Being thieves (we call them ninja looters- whenever something that's good drops, be it an equipment item, a weapon, a recipee, a gem, the party can 'roll' for it. This means that party members will basically roll from 1-100 on a need or greed basis. Need trumps greed. A higher number wins out. And ninja looters will wait for everyone to roll first and then roll need, when they don't really need something)D. By being douchebags overall or E. By being bad players in various ways ( Any sort of things, such as being bad on purpose, being bad and a jerk at the same time...no one is perfect, a bad player is not a bad thing, but a touch of humility and good manners go a LONG way in this game) Not to say that there aren't decent people in this game, there are, but just like in real life, there are more assholes than nice people, for whatever reason. It's as if the game mimicks real life a bit too well.
Before the LFG tool for instances, looking for a group was a bit difficult, and more often than not, you would end up with douchebags. And it would often deterr you from trying that again for a while. Nowadays...you're basically paired up with douchebags faster. It's not perfect, but at least you have a way of simply dropping that particular group and trying again. It's like speed dating basically: all the awkwardness and regret just comes at you faster, and eventually it all happens so fast, you've rubbed yourself raw and numb, and it doesn't smart as much anymore. Pretty picture, I know.
I remember one evening we had the perfect group: we ended up doing the same labyrinthine dungeon 5 times over. Everyone in the group was perfect: corteous, respectful, and by the 3rd time of doing the same dungeon, it was clockwork, to the point where we were basically a ravenous pack of pixels, or some sort of high fantasy hit squad carrying out a Troll pogrom or something. ANYWAY, it was great. I was sad to have to break for food, because, well, it was perfect. Suffice to say when we came back, we had probably the worst group we had had all evening, and my girlfriend and I ended up carrying the group (meaning, pulling all the weight). Last week we were doing an 'already in progress' 5man. This means it had already been started and the roles we were filling in had been vacated. When we came in, I saw a bunch of corpses, meaning that some or all in the party had died and come back in. I asked what happened, and the party explained in short words that they had a 'noob dk tank'(meaning, an inexperienced Death Knight Tank) to which I said 'ahh. I see' and proceeded to do my thing (my thing being killing chit, as a friend of yesteryear used to say) Or at least I attempted to do so. As soon as we started, we were bombarded by a party chat full of question marks. My gf thinks the spammers were speaking in korean and the chat was not recognizing the characters. Í don't know. And then the real fun started. We had a hunter and a boomkin (a rather large owl with antlers that casts magic, also called crit *for critical* chicken. ) The hunter decided that my going breakneck fast was not fast enough, and started to shoot things for shits and giggles. Which made my job that more strenous. Then the boomkin thought it would be ok to start pushing things away from me with gusts of wind (this ability is more for player vs player action, where distance from another player is desired. In an instance it's bad because A. The tank, meaning moi, could not hit things as I was supposed to and B. He started pushing them into other enemies, so then we all had one big american party where I had to chase everything around) We asked him to stop, and explained this was not pvp (payer vs player) and he proceeded to say it was, and called my girlfriend a slut. I was not happy. See, you should never anger the tank or healer, because you might die. It's like being carried into an ER and spitting at the doctor's face and calling him a pansy. You're not making a case for yourself. So we proceeded to leave the party and left them to die.
Now, if we could only muster the courage in life to leave douchebags hanging, everything would be simply awesome....
Example:
Me: Hey Boss, I don't like this assignment. I know I volunteered, but it's really not great. Can I please drop it?
Boss: Nope. You trained for it, you get to keep it.
Me: But, this is not what I was hired for...
Boss: Suck it up, buttercup
Real Life resolution: I get to keep my job and now I hate it even more than before
MMO resolution:
Me: ok, well, Let me...click this...Leave group...ok, hey, I'm putting you on ignore, have luck finding another schmuck! l2p nub!~
If only...
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Goldilock's Catharsis: It only took me three attempts
I started playing WoW on May 2009. I've already established that. And I took to tanking rather well, I feel. Or rather, It's what I preferred doing. I started on a pally, which is considered by most 'Easymode' tanking. Since then, I leveled a DK tank to 80, I'm currently leveling a warrior (almost at Northrend) and I plan to level a druid when the next expansion hits. All in all, I expect to have a closet of tanks some day. Because I am that OCD.
It's kind of bittersweet that I've left the druid for last, because at this point I kind of expect to like it the least of all the four tanking classes. I'm extrapolating possibilities from what I've heard vis-á-vis what I already know I like and dislike from other classes.
I had a long rundown of how each class works, but blogspot did not save it for me, so I have to rewrite a lot of it...=/
in a nutshell:
Paladins - are like beating your smaller sibling at any sport, if they were not already athletes: it's easy to look good on a pally, it's like driving on automatic. It's a nice loop. The only time it's kinda loopy and odd is when offtanking, and Paladins seem to have a button for everything. Mage is getting chewed out 20 yds away? There's THIS button to make them INVINCIBLE!!!! Healer is getting shot in the face? There's THIS button to make YOU get shot in the face FOR them! Is the entire raid retarded and standing in fire (And fire sadly does not give you the "awesomeness buff")???? You have THIS button to make you take damage FOR THEM!!!! WOOO!!!!! All in all, the hard part about paladins is gearing them, and later on taking shit for A. Having leveled a pally instead of a warrior and B. For sucking at single target tanking in some specific bosses.
Druids- I don't have one, but I can't wait to have one. I'll have you know though, from what I hear I can gear them however I want, and I'd only have three buttons. Three buttons!?!?!? Wtf! It's like staring at fish in a buckett!!!
DK- DK is said to be a convoluted tanking class, and IT IS!!! Basically, as of now, you can do a dk tank...however you want. Could be ANY spec, and it's still feasible. It's like freeform poetry: It sucks, and you can't do anything about it except order another beer to make it go down smoother. Basically, I went with blood tank, because I dislike not having a shield, but I like being slightly independent of a healer as a tradeoff. I didn't know it was gonna be THE tank spec for Cataclysm, the upcoming expansion. Basically a DK tank goes as follows: it's a gimped paladin that makes up for getting hit harder than any other tank class, and not dodging ENOUGH by doing a LOT of damage. The reason why people say it's complicated? Because A. you don't have mana, you have runes, which work in a weird gimicky way B. all the damage you do is based on ilnesses you pass on (Like a Typhoid Mary Tank) C. They have a rotation VERY MUCH like a paladin....except the rotation ....has a few seconds of hang time while you wait for a rune or two to come off it's cooldown D. It's hard to gear with one less item to enchant (shield, I mourn you) and E. Nobody can make up their mind so far which spec is better. All in all, Dks are much maligned in general, so whenever you tank somewhat passable as a DK, it's a bit of a miracle, but everyone expects you to screw up. They do make good tanks though, very flashy. And eventually, very very laid back. Their lack of 'OH SHIT' buttons bothers me though. They have a few, yes, but all for self preservation, not many to save other very important people, like maybe the healer? Hmm.
Warriors- So far, I've only leveled a warrior to 70, and working, but I LOVE THIS CLASS. Here's the deal with warriors: It's hard to gear them, they have too many specs for too many kinds of tanking, they have issues with rage, people take advantage of them at the beginning of pulls, tanking groups is stressful enough to give you a headache, they have very few abilities to save other party members (compared to pallies) and they have NO SET rotation, but rather a priority system....it's like going from a laptop to a clickey clackey typewriter. BUT THEY ARE SOOOOOO overpowered. I haven't had this much fun in so long. This was the class I was meant to play on. The few abilities they DO have to save other party members simply make them shine as heroes, and the group tanking mechanics are so incredibly hands on, it's hard not to feel like you're actually skilled when it works! Not to mention that warriors are loaded with abilities meant to hinder and humiliate your opponent (Pvper running away? How's about a mad dash to them that does damage and stuns them? Then you can lower their armor by 8% in one fell swoop while doing damage and have the chance to hit them in the face with a big plank of iron you tote around to cover your ass. It is GLORIOUS)
So it took me three journeys to level 80 to get a taste of what I really loved to do. It's sad I left the druid for last, seeing as how I will probably not like it as much, and the experience will suffer in the process, but who the heck cares? I'm having fun now!!!
It's kind of bittersweet that I've left the druid for last, because at this point I kind of expect to like it the least of all the four tanking classes. I'm extrapolating possibilities from what I've heard vis-á-vis what I already know I like and dislike from other classes.
I had a long rundown of how each class works, but blogspot did not save it for me, so I have to rewrite a lot of it...=/
in a nutshell:
Paladins - are like beating your smaller sibling at any sport, if they were not already athletes: it's easy to look good on a pally, it's like driving on automatic. It's a nice loop. The only time it's kinda loopy and odd is when offtanking, and Paladins seem to have a button for everything. Mage is getting chewed out 20 yds away? There's THIS button to make them INVINCIBLE!!!! Healer is getting shot in the face? There's THIS button to make YOU get shot in the face FOR them! Is the entire raid retarded and standing in fire (And fire sadly does not give you the "awesomeness buff")???? You have THIS button to make you take damage FOR THEM!!!! WOOO!!!!! All in all, the hard part about paladins is gearing them, and later on taking shit for A. Having leveled a pally instead of a warrior and B. For sucking at single target tanking in some specific bosses.
Druids- I don't have one, but I can't wait to have one. I'll have you know though, from what I hear I can gear them however I want, and I'd only have three buttons. Three buttons!?!?!? Wtf! It's like staring at fish in a buckett!!!
DK- DK is said to be a convoluted tanking class, and IT IS!!! Basically, as of now, you can do a dk tank...however you want. Could be ANY spec, and it's still feasible. It's like freeform poetry: It sucks, and you can't do anything about it except order another beer to make it go down smoother. Basically, I went with blood tank, because I dislike not having a shield, but I like being slightly independent of a healer as a tradeoff. I didn't know it was gonna be THE tank spec for Cataclysm, the upcoming expansion. Basically a DK tank goes as follows: it's a gimped paladin that makes up for getting hit harder than any other tank class, and not dodging ENOUGH by doing a LOT of damage. The reason why people say it's complicated? Because A. you don't have mana, you have runes, which work in a weird gimicky way B. all the damage you do is based on ilnesses you pass on (Like a Typhoid Mary Tank) C. They have a rotation VERY MUCH like a paladin....except the rotation ....has a few seconds of hang time while you wait for a rune or two to come off it's cooldown D. It's hard to gear with one less item to enchant (shield, I mourn you) and E. Nobody can make up their mind so far which spec is better. All in all, Dks are much maligned in general, so whenever you tank somewhat passable as a DK, it's a bit of a miracle, but everyone expects you to screw up. They do make good tanks though, very flashy. And eventually, very very laid back. Their lack of 'OH SHIT' buttons bothers me though. They have a few, yes, but all for self preservation, not many to save other very important people, like maybe the healer? Hmm.
Warriors- So far, I've only leveled a warrior to 70, and working, but I LOVE THIS CLASS. Here's the deal with warriors: It's hard to gear them, they have too many specs for too many kinds of tanking, they have issues with rage, people take advantage of them at the beginning of pulls, tanking groups is stressful enough to give you a headache, they have very few abilities to save other party members (compared to pallies) and they have NO SET rotation, but rather a priority system....it's like going from a laptop to a clickey clackey typewriter. BUT THEY ARE SOOOOOO overpowered. I haven't had this much fun in so long. This was the class I was meant to play on. The few abilities they DO have to save other party members simply make them shine as heroes, and the group tanking mechanics are so incredibly hands on, it's hard not to feel like you're actually skilled when it works! Not to mention that warriors are loaded with abilities meant to hinder and humiliate your opponent (Pvper running away? How's about a mad dash to them that does damage and stuns them? Then you can lower their armor by 8% in one fell swoop while doing damage and have the chance to hit them in the face with a big plank of iron you tote around to cover your ass. It is GLORIOUS)
So it took me three journeys to level 80 to get a taste of what I really loved to do. It's sad I left the druid for last, seeing as how I will probably not like it as much, and the experience will suffer in the process, but who the heck cares? I'm having fun now!!!
Monday, July 12, 2010
MMO 101 (or, what I've been doing for fun for the last 15 months or so)
So, last May 2009 I joined a very obscure, even tabboo demographic: I play an MMO avidly. For the benefit of those of my peers that HAVE a life and DON'T play an MMO, I'll explain in layman's terms. MMO stands for Massive Multiplayer Online (game).
I have been playing, for a greater part of my last year, the much disputed/reviled/acclaimed World of Warcraft. I started playing it because of a girl, and stayed because it's addicting as hell. The game is, for the lack of a better definition, an RPG- you basically play a role in a video game. You choose from a limited list of avatars, who you want to be, and you go out and do quests. The setting is a quasi-classical fantasy, but I'll go into that in a moment. There are guns and airships too, so it appeals a bit to the steampunk in me. But most of it are swords and armor and magic and stuff. When it came to taking the plunge into this game, I was way in over my head, and had to have it broken down for me in a way that I could digest it better. My now girlfriend, then girl I liked so much I spent 40 bucks over, gave me a list of the classes available to me. The classes are thus-
Hunter: a hunter basically is a guy with an animal doing the fighting for him. S/he uses bows or guns and goes around with a bear or a dog or some other kind of pet (sometimes even a huge spider) and kills stuff from afar. Later in the game you find out this person screws stuff up 80% of the time it goes wrong, much to your chagrin.
Priest: pretty self explanatory. I was not interested in dying as much as this class portends (Hi! Do you need some godly/priestly influence? No don't kill me..yarrgg!!!!! dead)
Mage: again, pretty self explanatory. The prospect of turning stuff into sheep or frogs, or freezing things or blowing them up was pretty enticing, the mortality rate I assumed these suffer (and later confirmed as correct) was a deterrent.
Warlock: a warlock is pretty interesting class- it's basically a mage of sorts that calls upon demonic powers and summons a 'minion', which is just a fancy name for 'ugly pet'. I was not really interested, supposedly it's the hardest class to level, and I was just starting, so no. Skipped.
Warrior: self explanatory. Weapons, armor, the whole shebang. I was partially interested, but I chose another class because it was the 'easier' choice for beginners.
Shamans: Shamans are sorta like spirit warriors. They use totems and call elemental and spirit forces forth to fight with them/for them. I was definitely NOT interested.
Rogues: Rogues are basically thieves. In WoW, the thievery part is more of an on the side thing: they do pick pockets and open locks, but it's not as beneficial in a fight as you might expect. They do sneak around a LOT. And I must say, I was verrrrry interested in this class, and made a rogue eventually, but could not bring myself to making one as my first foray into WoW.
Paladins: Ahhh, the 'easy' class. Basically you're a rolling ball of armor that kills stuff with piety and can heal itself and render itself indestructible. Yeah, a lot of people hate paladins for having it 'easy'.
Druids: Druids are pretty interesting, and will try to make one in the near future- basically, you turn into animals or even trees and use nature as your ally. You can also turn into a manatee, and a blue hawk-owl thing. I am insanely jealous of not having a druid. I didn't choose druids, DESPITE the prospect of having a dancing bear (more on this some other time) because I preferred how Paladins sounded.
There's another class unavailable to me when I started this game, and thankfully so, called the Death Knight. As you might expect, the Death Knight is basically a videogame version of many a death metal band fantasy. You're ...undead. And you go around in plate armor killing things in horrible ways. And when you laugh, it's a spectral laugh. It's eerie. The class has since proven itself fun, but it would've sucked if I started the game with this class.
So long story short, I chose a paladin. Paladins are basically goody two shoes. And they get to wear nice luxurious armor and are able to heal themselves with the power of 'the Light' and yadda yadda yadda. Now came the hard-ish decision of what race (yes, race) I wanted to play. World of Warcraft is a classic (...quasiclassic, we'll see) binomial dichotomy. Good vs Evil. Ish. Not really. See, there's the Alliance (standing for what's good in the world and blah blah blah) and the Horde (misfits who go around looking for fights....that were actually started by the Alliance at some point...because the Horde are fugly)
I went Alliance. Because my now girlfriend hates the Horde. =/ These are the races, per faction:
Alliance
Humans: ....humans. I don't like em. They look dumb. They sound dumb. Just not my cup of tea. The chicks do the macarena when they dance. Yuck.
Gnomes: ...ugh. We hate gnomes. A lot. Like, with a passion. I can't think of any race I dislike more. They're tiny, and their laughter is annoying as feck. Punt-the-gnome is something which dreams are made of, I'll say.
Dwarves: Much like every other dwarf-lore, they drink, they burp, they laugh rambunctiously, and they have scottish accents. I have a VERY soft spot for dwarves. A drawback of playing with a girlfriend (the only drawback) is that they will not allow you to play a character of a race they don't think matches with their own character. And dwarves, as endearing as they are, don't match. Ever. With anything. (Point of interest, dwarf females in this game are like unicorns)
Night Elves: Night elves are spindly, gaunt, tall, very graceful woodland creatures. With bright eyes, pointy ears, and I dunno. They kinda look like tall, kind vampires. I like vampires, but the voice they game 'em makes em sound like a pissed off David Schwimmer.
Draenei: Draenei are basically Eatern European space goats. Let me explain: They are refugees from another planet, they speak in an Eastern European accent, they have tendrils on their faces that make them look like an octopus-head, they have horns, a tail and are cloven. Oh, and they're about twice as tall as most anything. This is the race I chose for my paladin. They had me at space goat.
To offer a counterpoint, here's what I missed on the Horde:
Orcs: Orcs are pretty much what you'd expect of an orc, they're a growling greenish thing that looks like a gorilla mated with a demon. I think that's their origin actually. They are warlike and honorable. They do the Hammertime when they dance. It's...odd.
Trolls: Trolls in this game are unlike trolls elsewhere. They do have the crazy hair, but they have huge fangs and are the response to Jar Jar Binks when it comes to offensive stereotypes: Trolls apparently emigrated from Kingston. But they do Capoeira. I dunno, Blizzard was throwing ideas around after a kegger, and thus the troll was born. I have a soft spot for trolls, they're kinda the representatives of the Caribbean in this game. But alas, they're ugly as sin (see dwarves as to why this is important)
Forsaken: Forsaken are basically zombies. Walking dead. This sounds pretty cool, but the models are sorta lacking, in my opinion. I dunno. Maybe I'm just not into the whole zombie thing as much as I thought I was. Although creating something with a missing lower jaw is pretty interesting.
Tauren: Tauren are minotaurs, basically. Tree hugging minotaurs. Um, yeah. I like the Tauren quite a bit, they make everything else look tiny by comparison, which was quite fun. These were basically made to be the Native Americans of the game. I dunno how I feel about THAT, but it's fine. Whatev. They hug trees. Very menacingly.
Blood Elves: Blood elves are like metrosexual night elves. They're like the foppish, snobby aunt of the Horde family (I dunno about you, but I have a snobby aunt. Meh) They all look delicate, and groomed, and meh. Not very dangerous. And yet they're annoying as heck. They give gnomes a run for their money on 'Race I want to choke to death'.
There are two races coming out in the coming months: the Alliance got Worgens and the Horde got Goblins. Worgen are a cute word for Werewolves. Yes. Werewolves. Nobody wants to say it, so I will: Blizzard loves the Alliance more. Werewolves, are you serious?? How cool is that! Anyway, as you might have guessed, Goblins are an insult by comparison: they are short green gnomes. Good deal huh?
By the way, I know this suddenly turned into a wall of text. But I'm not done. Once I made my Space Goat goody two shoes in armor, I was made to decide what *role* I wanted to play as. Role, wtf?
See, the MMO world is dominated by a powerful triumvirate: Healer, DPS (Damage per Second) and tank. Another brief explanation of this:
Healer- heals. Healers are like the drama majors in high school. Or maybe like the chess nerds. Thing is, healers get stepped on a lot, it's a thankless job, or rather, it's been said, a horrible godforsaken responsibility. To keep 4 other players alive? of which 4 could be potential morons?! of which 4 could blame the healer for everything??!? It's a horrible role, and I wanted no part in it. However, when a healer is good, the recognition is profuse. My girlfriend chose to go the way of the healer, which is cause for much stress whenever we play. I feel her pain. She yells at the monitor a lot. A lot of "NO!!! Don't step on FIRE!!!!" can be heard when we play.
DPS- DPS basically does damage. DPS are the bulk of the game. In a party of five people, three of them should be DPS. DPS are like the jocks. They love numbers. They LOVE outstaging each other. And they LOOOOVE blaming the healer and the tank for their own misgivings. They also like to think they could do the healer and the tank's job. As the saying goes, dpsing is 'fun'. DPS can be clumped into one, but there's different kinds of dps classes: you have casters, which normally mean they do damage from afar. This normally includes anything that casts magic. You have melee damage, which basically includes anything that hits stuff from a closer range, and normally gets killed in the process. And you have hunters, who insist on just hitting random stuff for fun, causing both healer and tank much stress.
Tank- a tank is basically a character that has ways of making everything on screen hopefully hit HIM and not kill the healer...and maybe leave the rest of the group alive. Maybe. Basically, a meat shield. They say tanking is a job. Why a job? Because it PAYS to be a tank, but man, it's thankless. (Basically, tanks and healers are always in demand, because these actually take some skill to play passably well) If something goes wrong, anything, it's the tank's fault. The only time it's not the tank's fault is if the tank dies. ...not really, but...still.
After much debate, I chose to become a tank. Why? Well, those who know me might say that it makes sense for me to have chosen something that looks to get hit in the face repeatedly. All in all, healing sounded too stressful for me, and killing things sounded (and resulted in being) too competitive for me, so I decided to play as an Eastern European Space Goat Goody Two Shoes Meat Shield, or EESGGTSMS for short. Not very catchy. AFTER all that deliberation, I uhh, started playing. More on that some other day, =P
I have been playing, for a greater part of my last year, the much disputed/reviled/acclaimed World of Warcraft. I started playing it because of a girl, and stayed because it's addicting as hell. The game is, for the lack of a better definition, an RPG- you basically play a role in a video game. You choose from a limited list of avatars, who you want to be, and you go out and do quests. The setting is a quasi-classical fantasy, but I'll go into that in a moment. There are guns and airships too, so it appeals a bit to the steampunk in me. But most of it are swords and armor and magic and stuff. When it came to taking the plunge into this game, I was way in over my head, and had to have it broken down for me in a way that I could digest it better. My now girlfriend, then girl I liked so much I spent 40 bucks over, gave me a list of the classes available to me. The classes are thus-
Hunter: a hunter basically is a guy with an animal doing the fighting for him. S/he uses bows or guns and goes around with a bear or a dog or some other kind of pet (sometimes even a huge spider) and kills stuff from afar. Later in the game you find out this person screws stuff up 80% of the time it goes wrong, much to your chagrin.
Priest: pretty self explanatory. I was not interested in dying as much as this class portends (Hi! Do you need some godly/priestly influence? No don't kill me..yarrgg!!!!! dead)
Mage: again, pretty self explanatory. The prospect of turning stuff into sheep or frogs, or freezing things or blowing them up was pretty enticing, the mortality rate I assumed these suffer (and later confirmed as correct) was a deterrent.
Warlock: a warlock is pretty interesting class- it's basically a mage of sorts that calls upon demonic powers and summons a 'minion', which is just a fancy name for 'ugly pet'. I was not really interested, supposedly it's the hardest class to level, and I was just starting, so no. Skipped.
Warrior: self explanatory. Weapons, armor, the whole shebang. I was partially interested, but I chose another class because it was the 'easier' choice for beginners.
Shamans: Shamans are sorta like spirit warriors. They use totems and call elemental and spirit forces forth to fight with them/for them. I was definitely NOT interested.
Rogues: Rogues are basically thieves. In WoW, the thievery part is more of an on the side thing: they do pick pockets and open locks, but it's not as beneficial in a fight as you might expect. They do sneak around a LOT. And I must say, I was verrrrry interested in this class, and made a rogue eventually, but could not bring myself to making one as my first foray into WoW.
Paladins: Ahhh, the 'easy' class. Basically you're a rolling ball of armor that kills stuff with piety and can heal itself and render itself indestructible. Yeah, a lot of people hate paladins for having it 'easy'.
Druids: Druids are pretty interesting, and will try to make one in the near future- basically, you turn into animals or even trees and use nature as your ally. You can also turn into a manatee, and a blue hawk-owl thing. I am insanely jealous of not having a druid. I didn't choose druids, DESPITE the prospect of having a dancing bear (more on this some other time) because I preferred how Paladins sounded.
There's another class unavailable to me when I started this game, and thankfully so, called the Death Knight. As you might expect, the Death Knight is basically a videogame version of many a death metal band fantasy. You're ...undead. And you go around in plate armor killing things in horrible ways. And when you laugh, it's a spectral laugh. It's eerie. The class has since proven itself fun, but it would've sucked if I started the game with this class.
So long story short, I chose a paladin. Paladins are basically goody two shoes. And they get to wear nice luxurious armor and are able to heal themselves with the power of 'the Light' and yadda yadda yadda. Now came the hard-ish decision of what race (yes, race) I wanted to play. World of Warcraft is a classic (...quasiclassic, we'll see) binomial dichotomy. Good vs Evil. Ish. Not really. See, there's the Alliance (standing for what's good in the world and blah blah blah) and the Horde (misfits who go around looking for fights....that were actually started by the Alliance at some point...because the Horde are fugly)
I went Alliance. Because my now girlfriend hates the Horde. =/ These are the races, per faction:
Alliance
Humans: ....humans. I don't like em. They look dumb. They sound dumb. Just not my cup of tea. The chicks do the macarena when they dance. Yuck.
Gnomes: ...ugh. We hate gnomes. A lot. Like, with a passion. I can't think of any race I dislike more. They're tiny, and their laughter is annoying as feck. Punt-the-gnome is something which dreams are made of, I'll say.
Dwarves: Much like every other dwarf-lore, they drink, they burp, they laugh rambunctiously, and they have scottish accents. I have a VERY soft spot for dwarves. A drawback of playing with a girlfriend (the only drawback) is that they will not allow you to play a character of a race they don't think matches with their own character. And dwarves, as endearing as they are, don't match. Ever. With anything. (Point of interest, dwarf females in this game are like unicorns)
Night Elves: Night elves are spindly, gaunt, tall, very graceful woodland creatures. With bright eyes, pointy ears, and I dunno. They kinda look like tall, kind vampires. I like vampires, but the voice they game 'em makes em sound like a pissed off David Schwimmer.
Draenei: Draenei are basically Eatern European space goats. Let me explain: They are refugees from another planet, they speak in an Eastern European accent, they have tendrils on their faces that make them look like an octopus-head, they have horns, a tail and are cloven. Oh, and they're about twice as tall as most anything. This is the race I chose for my paladin. They had me at space goat.
To offer a counterpoint, here's what I missed on the Horde:
Orcs: Orcs are pretty much what you'd expect of an orc, they're a growling greenish thing that looks like a gorilla mated with a demon. I think that's their origin actually. They are warlike and honorable. They do the Hammertime when they dance. It's...odd.
Trolls: Trolls in this game are unlike trolls elsewhere. They do have the crazy hair, but they have huge fangs and are the response to Jar Jar Binks when it comes to offensive stereotypes: Trolls apparently emigrated from Kingston. But they do Capoeira. I dunno, Blizzard was throwing ideas around after a kegger, and thus the troll was born. I have a soft spot for trolls, they're kinda the representatives of the Caribbean in this game. But alas, they're ugly as sin (see dwarves as to why this is important)
Forsaken: Forsaken are basically zombies. Walking dead. This sounds pretty cool, but the models are sorta lacking, in my opinion. I dunno. Maybe I'm just not into the whole zombie thing as much as I thought I was. Although creating something with a missing lower jaw is pretty interesting.
Tauren: Tauren are minotaurs, basically. Tree hugging minotaurs. Um, yeah. I like the Tauren quite a bit, they make everything else look tiny by comparison, which was quite fun. These were basically made to be the Native Americans of the game. I dunno how I feel about THAT, but it's fine. Whatev. They hug trees. Very menacingly.
Blood Elves: Blood elves are like metrosexual night elves. They're like the foppish, snobby aunt of the Horde family (I dunno about you, but I have a snobby aunt. Meh) They all look delicate, and groomed, and meh. Not very dangerous. And yet they're annoying as heck. They give gnomes a run for their money on 'Race I want to choke to death'.
There are two races coming out in the coming months: the Alliance got Worgens and the Horde got Goblins. Worgen are a cute word for Werewolves. Yes. Werewolves. Nobody wants to say it, so I will: Blizzard loves the Alliance more. Werewolves, are you serious?? How cool is that! Anyway, as you might have guessed, Goblins are an insult by comparison: they are short green gnomes. Good deal huh?
By the way, I know this suddenly turned into a wall of text. But I'm not done. Once I made my Space Goat goody two shoes in armor, I was made to decide what *role* I wanted to play as. Role, wtf?
See, the MMO world is dominated by a powerful triumvirate: Healer, DPS (Damage per Second) and tank. Another brief explanation of this:
Healer- heals. Healers are like the drama majors in high school. Or maybe like the chess nerds. Thing is, healers get stepped on a lot, it's a thankless job, or rather, it's been said, a horrible godforsaken responsibility. To keep 4 other players alive? of which 4 could be potential morons?! of which 4 could blame the healer for everything??!? It's a horrible role, and I wanted no part in it. However, when a healer is good, the recognition is profuse. My girlfriend chose to go the way of the healer, which is cause for much stress whenever we play. I feel her pain. She yells at the monitor a lot. A lot of "NO!!! Don't step on FIRE!!!!" can be heard when we play.
DPS- DPS basically does damage. DPS are the bulk of the game. In a party of five people, three of them should be DPS. DPS are like the jocks. They love numbers. They LOVE outstaging each other. And they LOOOOVE blaming the healer and the tank for their own misgivings. They also like to think they could do the healer and the tank's job. As the saying goes, dpsing is 'fun'. DPS can be clumped into one, but there's different kinds of dps classes: you have casters, which normally mean they do damage from afar. This normally includes anything that casts magic. You have melee damage, which basically includes anything that hits stuff from a closer range, and normally gets killed in the process. And you have hunters, who insist on just hitting random stuff for fun, causing both healer and tank much stress.
Tank- a tank is basically a character that has ways of making everything on screen hopefully hit HIM and not kill the healer...and maybe leave the rest of the group alive. Maybe. Basically, a meat shield. They say tanking is a job. Why a job? Because it PAYS to be a tank, but man, it's thankless. (Basically, tanks and healers are always in demand, because these actually take some skill to play passably well) If something goes wrong, anything, it's the tank's fault. The only time it's not the tank's fault is if the tank dies. ...not really, but...still.
After much debate, I chose to become a tank. Why? Well, those who know me might say that it makes sense for me to have chosen something that looks to get hit in the face repeatedly. All in all, healing sounded too stressful for me, and killing things sounded (and resulted in being) too competitive for me, so I decided to play as an Eastern European Space Goat Goody Two Shoes Meat Shield, or EESGGTSMS for short. Not very catchy. AFTER all that deliberation, I uhh, started playing. More on that some other day, =P
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